![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
so i've been mostly-lurking in a few gay gamedev discords now since theoretically i'd like to talk shop with other people working on porn games. but in practice... how do i say this.
so, desire is coded, right? all desire not just sexual desire. there's that oscar wilde quote, 'everything is about sex except sex. sex is about power', that's like 1. people encode sex into things that aren't sex, and that contains literally the entirety of sexual attraction, and also 2. when people engage with sex the thing they depict is the thing they've encoded the most sex into, which is generally, uh, not just sex.
like this comes up a lot in the nightmare of proship/antiship discourse, that's like... yeah somebody into ddlg isn't actually pedophilic because generally speaking the desire there comes from this place of like, self-inquiry? people remember being kids and then since they're adults now they map on all sorts of sexual context, etc. so the ~cathected desire~ has to do with like, "hey in retrospect my adolescence really sucked so i'd like to revisit it again in fantasy only now i'm sexy and desired" or w/e. not really my thing but fine, that's part of the unfolding majesty of human sexual experience, good for them, etc.
but then ooof i see game after game where the absolute locus of peoples' desire is just like, "what if a college frat was hot", and yeah yeah it's about the form those ideas take in people's heads, but seeing stuff like that over and over just makes me exhausted with how banal it is.
its me im the person who judges people for being too vanilla normie. like it's fine! people can get turned on by w/e and it doesn't really affect me, but god are some people's sexual landscapes boring.
(like way back when i started writing porn fanfic it was because i wanted to see more weird porn that i thought was actually hot, and it's genuinely a little depressing that now like 15 years later it's mostly just the same old stuff over and over.)
so, desire is coded, right? all desire not just sexual desire. there's that oscar wilde quote, 'everything is about sex except sex. sex is about power', that's like 1. people encode sex into things that aren't sex, and that contains literally the entirety of sexual attraction, and also 2. when people engage with sex the thing they depict is the thing they've encoded the most sex into, which is generally, uh, not just sex.
like this comes up a lot in the nightmare of proship/antiship discourse, that's like... yeah somebody into ddlg isn't actually pedophilic because generally speaking the desire there comes from this place of like, self-inquiry? people remember being kids and then since they're adults now they map on all sorts of sexual context, etc. so the ~cathected desire~ has to do with like, "hey in retrospect my adolescence really sucked so i'd like to revisit it again in fantasy only now i'm sexy and desired" or w/e. not really my thing but fine, that's part of the unfolding majesty of human sexual experience, good for them, etc.
but then ooof i see game after game where the absolute locus of peoples' desire is just like, "what if a college frat was hot", and yeah yeah it's about the form those ideas take in people's heads, but seeing stuff like that over and over just makes me exhausted with how banal it is.
its me im the person who judges people for being too vanilla normie. like it's fine! people can get turned on by w/e and it doesn't really affect me, but god are some people's sexual landscapes boring.
(like way back when i started writing porn fanfic it was because i wanted to see more weird porn that i thought was actually hot, and it's genuinely a little depressing that now like 15 years later it's mostly just the same old stuff over and over.)
