let it leave me like a long breath

idk feeling kind of down lately. mostly b/c this one irc channel i have been on for ten+ years now finally dissolved a few months back and who knows if i will ever talk to those people again; also the tumblr social scene has totally shattered b/c a bunch of the people i used to talk to have left or at least focused on stuff other than SOCIAL MEDIA BRANDING (i mean, myself included), so it's kind of left me with fewer people to idly talk to than i've had around for several years. kinda miss having substantiative conversations on irc, but, that's the times changing i guess. oh yeah and then this one furry who's been talking to me recently just kind of dropped "also i used to be a neonazi" into conversation which was kind of. not great. sometimes in my INSULAR SJW HUGBOX i forget that that is... a thing that people do. sometimes.

also i perpetually do this thing like "ahh i never finish anything, i should work on things more" when it's like... no, i finished two stories last month, i fixed up a bunch of code stuff recently, i've done all sorts of things and some of them i even finish. shut up brain.

i just have kinda built up a big mental block about writing a bunch of sex scenes for HELL GAME, which is... the main thing that i need to do in hell game, to make it a game. i mean a bunch of other fiddly stuff too, but, mostly sex scenes since it is after all a porn game. o well.

also i am not sure how i feel about these layout colors?? i wanted something higher-contrast but this color scheme feels very grimdark. your only colors are orange and grey.

and it doesn't even fix the link contrast issue, b/c there are still light orange links on medium red background

some of these colors i have to change in the layout itself b/c i don't know how to tell dreamwidth i have invented new color labels for this layout